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Did you know…
that according to a recent study performed by a Facebook status update tracker, that March is apparently the biggest breakup month? I know — if Facebook claims it, it must be “
official,” right? But actually, in a day and age where people put their entire lives on Facebook for everyone to see, especially relationship status updates, I believe that this study is probably pretty accurate.
This isn’t the most shocking news, since March represents spring, ‘spring fever,’ and spring cleaning, and the spring season represents ‘rebirth.’ In terms of relationships, this may awaken a sense of what’s no longer working or fulfilling in one’s personal life. Relationships that may have been dragged through a cold, dark winter on their last and final limb around Valentine’s Day are likely to reach a point of demise upon the arrival of the breezy, warm, and revitalizing spring weather. As one energizes from the end of a long and tiring winter, other things may come to light as well. I know this doesn’t make breakups any easier, but it does mean that this entry has come along at the perfect time! If you fell off the healthy bandwagon, or you haven’t quite followed through with that New Years Resolution to get in better shape, and you happen to be someone contributing to this recent statistic, this may be your second chance to reinvent yourself. Chin up – this spring can be your season of reform, rebirth, and rejuvenation!
Breakups. We’ve all been through them. They happen for a multitude of reasons, but no matter why a break up happens, it just feels really crappy for a while. Even if the relationship was betrayed, unhealthy, or a long time coming, the emotions that coincide with the actual breakup are typically very different from the emotions you experience leading up to the breakup. We’re only human, so no matter what type of situation we’re no longer in, we feel what we feel because we are human, and we possess hearts that experience many emotions.
The ‘before breakup’ phase tends to be filled with tension, anger, frustration, shadiness, or stress. The ‘after breakup’ phase is usually accompanied by feeling sad, sick, lonely, helpless, lost, and confused. Then there’s your mind…just spinninggg, spinninggg, spinninggg with over-analyses and coulda, woulda, shouldas.
I’m here today to discuss the silver lining within a breakup, because no one ever really talks about this and it shocks me! Instead of focusing on the sad breakup stuff, let’s talk about embracing the opportunity to look and feel the best we EVER have. I’m talking about taking a breakup and kicking it’s ass…Fit Soul and Spice style. Today, we’re turning breakups into healthy lifestyle opportunities!
Have you ever run into someone a few months after they’ve been through a really bad break up, and you can’t believe how amazing they look? Their skin is fresh and glowing, they’re looking fit and in shape, and they’ve taken their swagger to a whole new level. This is because they decided to accept and own their breakup. They felt out their breakup feelings, and then took advantage of what my girlfriends and I like to call “the breakup weight.” The breakup diet is a hidden segue to a new you. Today…we’re going to start taking breakups with a whole new approach.
The Breakup Diet Defined:
In the midst all of the emotion and commotion that comes with a breakup, each individual reacts differently. Many people end up doing one of two things: stress eating to compensate for your loss, or, more commonly, not eating anything at all. This entry applies to latter batch of new singles.
When a breakup occurs, many people are exhausted, becoming so consumed by their ‘after breakup’ emotions that they begin running on empty without even realizing it. What are the symptoms, you ask? The typical: stomach flips and drops, a major loss of appetite, not sleeping at all or sleeping way more than usual, and feeling sick to your stomach with stress and heartache. What can THIS lead to? Starvation! You’re also more active, trying to stay busy and occupied so that the breakup is out of sight and out of mind. You’re throwing yourself into your work, going out for happy hour with friends, enjoying all types of old and new adventures on the weekends, and basically doing anything that will help you to stay distracted in the present and looking towards the future. Again…what does THIS lead to? Starvation! And there you have it my friends…in a nutshell, today’s definition of the breakup diet!
Now, before you react, I am aware that the breakup diet is not the healthiest experience to go through. But, I’m also very realistic, and it is what it is. Breakups and the things that can cause break ups (cheating, lies, being blindsided or betrayed, really missing someone, etc…) can be, quite literally, sickening. I’ve been through my fair share of painful breakups, and this is exactly what happened to me. I either couldn’t sleep or I was sleeping way more than usual…couldn’t eat…kept super busy…wasn’t concerned about my health as much as my ability to get through another day feeling down. I won’t ever discriminate against anyone’s right to feel out their emotions through tough times. And after all, one should never throw stones. Breakups cause feelings of depression, which could result in a loss of appetite and energy.
Today’s focus is on what you can do after the break up diet to start over. My girlfriends and I call this the “breakup weight.” No – not your actual “weight,” because we’re all beautiful and sexy and fabulous, and I don’t believe in scales. By “breakup weight,” I mean the change you realize in yourself as you cope with the emotions of your breakup. Read on to understand…
The Breakup Weight Defined:
You’ve been through hell, and this is [probably] the scenario: you haven’t eaten much, so you haven’t eaten anything unhealthy, and you’ve also been drinking a lot of water, so your skin looks and feels smooth. You’ve lost that last bit of winter weight from feeling sad and a loss of appetite, so your clothes are a little loose. You’re getting a lot of sleep, so you look and feel rested. This is, in a nutshell, is what results in ‘breakup weight.’ I encourage you to embrace this clean slate in order to work towards becoming the best version you’ve ever seen or felt of yourself. Turn your breakup into your new healthy lifestyle.
Here’s What NOT to Do:
Check out the list of what NOT to do when transforming your break up into a healthy lifestyle.
– DO NOT start binge eating. This is the most crucial piece of advice I can provide you with. Binge eating is when someone consumes a large quantity of food in a very short period of time. You have not been eating much of anything, and your stomach can shrink when this happens. It’s healthy to start out slow by introducing healthy foods back into your body at a steady pace. Binging can result in stomach problems, and could develop into a more serious issue. When you do reintroduce food to your body, binging may result in a significant weight gain, as your body can forget how to react to nourishment and the digestive process. You must acknowledge the amount and types of food you put into your system in order to healthily fuel your body again as you heal from your break up.
– DO NOT eat junk. If your appetite is starting to return, don’t start picking on potato chips, french fries, and diet coke. This is your clean slate…don’t fill it up with crap! Get in touch with yourself and realize that you have an opportunity to recreate yourself now. Take advantage of it, but do not take it for granted. Embrace your new healthy lifestyle.
– DO NOT start partying like a wild child. I am all for a night out on the weekends or happy hour and brunch with friends when you’re feeling up, down, or whatever! But if you decide to start partying like a rock star, your body will pay the price. This will impact your skin, your energy level, your level of endorphins, and your weight. You may end up right back where you started during your breakup, or worse.
– DO NOT obsess. This one can be tough. You finally lost the weight you’ve been thinking about losing for some time, your skin looks great, and you feel energized and awake. Don’t pressure yourself. Do not approach your clean slate with the mentality that you have to look like your breakup self, or everything will fall apart. You’re stronger than that, and it’s not healthy. I’ve done this in the past, and I had to take a step back and realize that I wasn’t embracing my new life the healthy way. It was robbing me of my newfound or future happiness. Remember how you felt throughout that time. You were so sad before, and now you look happy and healthy. Take your breakup phases and gear them towards becoming fit, vibrant, and full of self-love and self-worth. Mold your new healthy lifestyle.
Here’s What You SHOULD Do:
– Work out: Join the gym or start using that membership you didn’t have time for because you were always with whatshisface. This is a great time to start working out because you’re lean, energized, and you’ve got time on your hands! Don’t cry about it, use it! Get to the gym and start kicking some butt! Get fit for yourself and think about the head start you have because of your break up diet! And hey…think about how hot you’ll look when you go out on your next date!
– Eat lean and clean: You felt out your sadness and it resulted in a loss of appetite. That’s completely understandable, but now it’s time to get back on track, while staying healthy and fit. The best way to maintain your weight and glowing skin is through a lean and clean lifestyle. Shop for groceries and meal prep every Sunday for the week ahead. Here’s a list of foods you should swear by from now on:
– Rich green vegetables: spinach, kale, arugula, zucchini
– And then more vegetables: mushrooms, eggplant, beets, corn, squash, carrots, onions
– Swear by herbs as seasonings and flavors: cinnamon, garlic, rosemary, sage, cumin, sea salt, black pepper, cayenne pepper. EXPERIMENTING is fun, so explore which are your favorites!
– Fresh fruit: avocados, cucumbers, strawberries, pears, oranges, lemons, blueberries, pineapple, watermelon, mango, bananas, dates, fresh figs
– Lean and hardy fish: tilapia, halibut, cod, sea bass, salmon
– Some lean meat: turkey or chicken, occasional lean red meat
– TONS of water, especially my FSS Detox Water
– TONS of fruit water (water infused overnight with your favorite fruits)
– TONS of green tea, and some strong black coffee too
– Non-meat proteins: raw almonds, eggs, kale, quinoa, tofu, chickpeas, chia seeds, fish, spinach
– Stay away from dairy and creamy stuff (instead, use things like almond milk, soy milk, cashew milk, avocado, extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar on salads,
– Commit to a cheat day: Allow yourself one day each week (the same day each week helps to establish a routine) to eat whatever you want. Don’t feel guilty, and don’t let yourself think “this is where I fall of the wagon.” You worked hard at the gym all week, and you’ve eaten healthy and lean foods. Treat yo’self and enjoy. Just remember, it’s a one day deal! Then back to the grind. Before you know it, you’ll prefer clean, lean, and fit options over anything else!
– Spend time being by your healthy self: Take some time to have a relationship with yourself. Fall into your healthy lifestyle, your gym routine, and your clean eating habits. Get to know this new you, and fall in love with it. Because you are beyond worth it! Before you can find love with someone new, you must find love, respect, appreciation, and gratitude for everything that you are. Learn who you want to be as yourself, and that energy will lead you to someone who loves and appreciates you on a level that you deserve. And if they’re worth it, they’ll motivate and support the healthy lifestyle that you have now created for yourself. That’s a true partner and a teammate.
– Practice self-love and self-worth: Acknowledge how far you’ve come! Don’t take it lightly. Breakups are REALLY hard and painful, and look what you did with yours! You turned it into something beautiful; a new, healthy, happy, fit, amazing YOU. It takes a really strong, determined, empowered individual to do something like that, and you did it. Love yourself and remember your worth. Now that you see how you can turn something negative in life into something positive, sky’s the limit! Do this with all things, and your life will flourish with happiness, success, and positivity.
Feeling the pain of a breakup doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you have a heart, feelings, emotions, and a conscience, and that the everyday love and affection you once shared with another human being is no longer around, leaving an empty void in your life.
I always had a theory that this vacant, empty spot in your soul is where all of the icky emotions creep in and stubbornly reside – like a dreadful, unexpected, unwelcome guest. If only we could hang a temporary “No Vacancy” sign on our hearts to keep them out, right? Wrong. Maybe that sounds great now, but it isn’t healthy. Although it may not seem like it when you’re going through a break up, feeling out your breakup is extremely healthy physically, emotionally, and mentally. That “No Vacancy” sign is just a way to bottle things up to deal with later. The worst thing you can do is bring all of those negative emotions from before into your next relationship, because you didn’t choose to face them head on before. Learn and grow from your past, but do not allow it to define or control your future. Feel what you feel, and those icky feelings will eventually see themselves out. That’s when you’ll know that the “empty void” is just some new space hungry for growth in your heart, mind, and soul. Fill it up…with your new, improved, healthy lifestyle.
Today’s entry is inspired by my strong, fabulous, always hilarious friend…you continue to empower me and I love you for it! Stay amazing xo
Be strong, be healthy, be you! Much love 🙂